Luna* accepted Islam in 1992 and started attending the local masjid. A few years later, she met a South Asian man who asked for her hand in marriage. That was the end of her freedom. He abused and isolated her from the community. Twenty years later, Luna’s found her faith and family again. Her husband suffered a stroke and ended up in a nursing facility. “I met her through Golden Age Committee [of the Islamic Society of Baltimore],” says Eram Abbasi. The youngest member of Golden Age Committee (GAC), Abbasi, who works for Maryland Department of Aging, is a mom of small kids. She joined the committee a few years ago to use her knowledge and experience the hands-on impacts of the work she does.
Luna was in a rehab facility due to her ailing health. “We were doing home delivered meals during Ramadan and brought her meals,” shares Abbasi. She befriended Luna after hearing her story from a community member and invited her home for Eid. “This was the first Eid she celebrated with a family since she accepted Islam,” says Abbasi. “
Since then Luna has found companionship in the senior sisters of the GAC, who visit her in rehab, and the sisterhood that had drawn her to Islam. They care for her after her husband’s funeral. “She was so thankful,” reminisces Abbasi, who found this scenario heartbreaking as she comes from a large family where people take care of one another.
The weekly GAC lunch and monthly dinner, where 60-80 seniors socialize, started five years ago at the Islamic Society of Baltimore. Some are new immigrants and others have thrived in the country and do not want to give up their independence.
After several starts and stops, the Golden Age Committee assessed that needs could be met through the village movement, which links neighbors together to help one another remain in the homes they love, as they grow older. The idea is to give seniors the facilities they would get in a retirement home and not uproot them from their homes.
Aging issues in the Muslim community have rarely been studied. The Institute for Social and Public Understanding (ISPU) conducted a study on Caring for Aging Muslim Families: A Needs Assessment. This project documented care as well as social relations needs prevalent across subgroups of American Muslims: African American, Albanian, Arab/ Middle Eastern American, and South Asian in the Detroit metro. It also uncovers strengths identified by Muslims as well as challenges they face, as the population grows older.
ISPU Scholar Kristine Ajrouch, using a multi-method approach, including focus group discussions with older adults (60+), sought to provide critical preliminary information concerning aging families. She interviewed imams, and male and female board members, in the metro-Detroit area, and a conducted a national web-based survey. Dr Ajrouch previously conducted research on Arab Americans.
The ISPU report identifies the top three needs as taking care of home, transportation, and physical health (i.e. taking medicine). Abbasi finds these needs echoed in the Baltimore Golden Age seniors. “I did a survey on the top 3 things that [the seniors] would like to see. They named socialization, transportation and physical fitness,” she notes.
Abbasi has been researching what it takes it start a village. A coordinator was definitely needed. The Activity Center is located in a pre-fab building on the ISB compound. A sofa, a few computers and a TV were available but there was no one to man the center.
So they hired a coordinator. Nusrat Chaudhry’s job at the Golden Age Activity Center is identifying seniors in the community. She attends community activities and calls up people who are vulnerable, checking on elders who live alone. “We are working on the transportation issues,” she shares with The Muslim Link. The GAC maintains a listserv and makes phone calls to those who do not have access to emails. “We send out emails about carpooling more than once a week,” says Abbasi.
Next on the agenda is inter-generational carpooling to the masjid. “When we can’t find a volunteer, we arrange for Mobility,” says Abbasi. Mobility/Para transit is a specialized transit service available to people, who because of a disability are functionally unable to get to a bus stop, wait unassisted at a stop or station or board or ride a bus or train by themselves. For a couple of dollars elders can get a ride to places where they need to go, if they fill out an application. GAC assists them in filling these out.
“We are not a fully functioning village, because we don’t charge anything,” says Abbasi.
Seniors at ISB Golden Age Committee vary in income. Abbasi says that 99 percent of people who use the activity center are women. Twenty-five meet over a Tuesday potluck and Qur'an class.
Blooming friendships have brought seniors from over the edge. Rafia* was severely depressed. She didn't speak English, and it was hard to communicate with her. Almost non-verbal even to her own family members, she was severely isolated. Her neighbor noticed and convinced her to come to the Golden Age Activity Center. She is now a regular member — a success story— where she shares her worries with other empty nesters at the weekly Saturday breakfast. Domestic violence and mental health are senior issues too.
Conditions and cultural competence of nursing homes is a concern of seniors in ISPU’s report. “It was appalling the conditions of the nursing homes here. They all reeked of urine, they were just awful, they looked like prison rooms. So I’m afraid to get old in Canton, I really am,” states Nouri, a South Asian elder in the report.
“We hear a lot about the need to develop a Muslim nursing home,” says Abbasi. The committee is looking at land and consulting experts who have developed them. “We have visited several nursing facilities. Fundraising for this project is on the agenda,” she shares. In 2012, GAC members were updated on the proposal for the senior residential facility, led by Dr. Khokhar and Tufail Chaudhry. Surveys and proposals by the Muslim Community Center and Montgomery County Muslim Foundation were also perused. Dr Ajrouch says that the seniors she interviewed also wanted the community to take small steps.
“There is a perception that it is new territory— formal services— so the idea is to move with small steps- instead of building a nursing home, find [one] that already exists and carve out a section for Muslims,” she suggested. An existing senior center that could also cater to the needs of the Muslim community would be another small step. “Try them out and learn from the experience, what works for the community,” she adds.
According to the ISPU report, most Muslim seniors fear becoming a burden on their children should they need care in later life. Gender differences showed that women expressed no preference to live with their children when they reached old age and were not opposed to living in a nursing home. On the other hand, men wanted to live with their children and expected children take care of them rather than live in a nursing facility. But having these discussions is a novelty and masajid don’t seem the ideal spots to have them.
In the ISPU report, elders elaborate needs by discussing the importance of meaningful social relations both with the younger generation and with same-age peers. Smart phones, the internet and laptops are a nemesis to bonding. Imam Khalil, an African American, interviewed by Dr Ajrouch said, “Technology is a big contributor to separation. . . . I visit my family, but they’re sitting there and . . . they’re like zoned in, they’re like hypnotized by those things.” “Technology serves as a dividing source between the old and young, not only in the realm of behavior but also in informing an attitudinal gap,” writes Dr Ajrouch. Abbasi concurs. “The common thing I hear is the technology aspect and the youth are often on a device. A majority of [ISB seniors] are learning about technology,” she says.
The youth director at ISB has approached Abbasi for programming, so youth in the community can volunteer at the Activity Center and interact with the elders. But they need to be trained on aging issues. According to the ISPU report, the top challenges that American Muslim communities face in addressing needs related to aging ‘include generational conflict, perceived discrimination, prioritizing issues related to aging, the ability to talk openly about aging issues, and locating funding to design initiatives’.
For African American elders interviewed by Dr. Ajrouch, another cause of isolation was lifestyles difference between Christian family members. Isaac, interviewed by Ajrouch, doesn't go to family gathering because of dietary differences. “Nobody’s avoiding me because I’m Muslim. I’m not avoiding anybody because of their Christianity. But I’m not going up to my family’s house or anybody else’s house and involve myself with those things that are restrictive to my religion. So that’s the way that is. My daughter invites me over for every event. I say, “I’m not coming over there. I am not going to eat pork. I won’t have any of this. “You know, I just don’t involve myself,” he says.
“For elders and families, the study showed that relationships with both younger generations as well as same-age peers represent an important area of well-being. For religious leaders, it showed the importance of talking openly and regularly about aging issues, vigilantly emphasizing how important the roles and responsibilities are of the entire community, above and beyond the family, to address care needs,” notes Dr Ajrouch.
This report could help service providers and community-based funders like GAC and Abbasi, as the study showed ‘the importance of proactive planning and prioritizing aging as a critical issue for the American Muslim community’. Dr Ajrouch suggests as next steps in research on Muslims and aging- a perspective study (long-term in nature) be conducted, which follows individuals over a span of 20-40 years to identify needs and challenges that arise because of aging.
As many of community leaders approach the golden age, seniors hope to see aging taken seriously.
*Names changed for privacy
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