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The Muslim Link
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Marriage Website Caters to Muslims with HIV, STDs PDF Print E-mail
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Community News - Community News
Written by Yaman Shalabi, Muslim Link Staff Writter   
Thursday, 07 January 2010 10:20

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The Center for Disease Control estimates of 1.2 million people living with HIV/Aids in the U.S., 29,000 live in Maryland, 19,000 in Virginia, and 15,000 in DC.

A small percentage of these local cases – but a percentage nonetheless – involve Muslims.

HIV (Human immunodeficiency virus) is a deadly condition in which the body’s immune system ceases to function properly. This virus is known to cause Aids. The virus spread first among homosexuals but is now widespread in the general population.

Seventy five percent of the U.S. HIV cases are men. African Americans account for 51% of HIV cases, followed by whites (29%) and then Hispanics/Latinos (18%).

For Muslims with HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), the social stigma attached to the disease puts many roadblocks in their community involvement. In particular, marriage within the Muslim community is a near impossibility.

Now, a local Muslimah intends to help change that.

Because sexually transmitted diseases become a complication for people when trying to meet future marriage candidates,  Sister Zaynah from Virginia decided to start a matrimonial service for Muslims who carry incurable STDs. The service is designed to “help you meet someone, without being blamed, and help you get over the headache of having to explain what you have, because they already know,” explained Sister Zaynah.

One major teaching of Islam is that people who enter this religion are forgiven for any past misdeeds. However incurable sexually contracted diseases, such as HIV/Aids; they carry with them for life. “You can’t turn back the hands of time,” said Zaynah as she told her story.  “It’s not just the converts, some Muslims born into Islam sway, even for awhile, from what is right.”

Zaynah became sexually active in her 12th year of high school. While in a relationship with a man she knew for 8 months, she contracted two incurable sexually transmitted diseases: herpes, which causes blisters and sores in the mouth and genital areas, and HPV (human papillomavirus), a virus that causes warts in the genital areas which can leads to cancer. She was not a Muslim at the time.

Later she became friends with a Muslim man who lived in her neighborhood. The two married and she became a Muslim in May of 2007.

The new marriage service, started in December 2009, is in its early stages of development and doesn’t have much activity now. Zaynah asks Muslims with STDs to submit a description of themselves and the disease(s) they carry. Based on the information submitted, she matches people up and then contacts the female’s guardian.

The site address is www.blessedmarriagesinsha-allah.com.

Zaynah does not guarantee that matched people may end up getting married but she is intent on giving them the key that will open the door to marital possibilities.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said that, “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Comments (35)
  • Mubarak A. Al-Muid
    I think it is of great benefits as there are many Muslims that have to deal with the issues raised in the article; while we are Muslims and endeavor to live good lives many of us have contracted problems through no fault of our own; so hopefully Muslims that don\'t have this problem want judge us unfairly, and if they do, this like all things are between them and Allah.
  • Muslimah  - Salaam
    Salaam brother, Are you looking for marriage? I have the same condition and would like to find a partner Insha Allah.
  • Abdus Sabur  - La ilaha ill Allah
    Asalaamu Alaikum Sister. Am a lonely single parent as well raising my son that 16years old. Am looking for sister as well to marrie. InShAllah contact if interst or want to know more about me have your wali contact me InshAllah.
  • faithandlove  - hoping to hear from you nahamee brothers ,Abdus S
    I would like to hear more about you , and have your email, and leave. your email and when we talk I would like to know how long you been a muslium and do you make all your prayers and salats and. are you active with the community and the bro & sisters , Because I seek to strength my iman and to have a family that is striving for the jennah together inshallah May Allah bless and guide use all in our search to better our community, ameen.
  • Elias  - ww
    as wr wb muslims marriage inshaa allah
  • kamal adin  - plz help me
    salam alikoum warahmatou alah wabarakatouh .... im a muslim who use to be living in the dark ...now after the doctor told me that i have herpes i discouver that i have only god that can be with me and help me or my god send someone to help me and i hope it could be someone who read this message..... im looking for a muslim women who can married me and have kids with her and live in islamic way and for god .... plz help me ..... my email is kimo_story@hotmail****
  • Muslimah
    Assallam wallaikum! How are you doing? I just found this website and I am glad in some ways I did I never knew I wasn't the only one going through this. I lost my virginity at 17, I got pregnant with my son and he's 8 years old now back in 1/15/2004 was when he was born. Since then I been healthy till I got married to my exhusband were separated and divorced now. After I left him I met a guy which I wish I never met I do think he's the one who gave me Herpes 1 and 2 I am deeply very sad inside I feel like I lost half of my life of having a future and finishing school to become a nurse. I dropped my classes today. I feel like because I am like this I cannot get married but inshallah I would like to get married I am 26 yrs old I live in Baltimore Md. I would like to get to know you if possible. I am a new muslim I just converted about a year ago but I am taking my deen very seriously and also being with the right person this time very seriously. Please contact me inshallah
  • Muslimah  - Muslimah.
    Salaam, I am in the same boat. Would like to consider marriage Insha Allah. I am in the UK.
  • Abdus Sabur  - trying to stay strong when your sick and lonely
    Am single father in the past years its been hard but I been holding on by Allah's well. I mess being a family man. So now am reaching out cause holding this in.Has been hard on me.As well as my Son that am raising but InShAllah me seeing this website Allah guide me someone that I could be married to I love hepling people and love having fun with a family that's going to love me For the person I am. May Allah help us all with this sickiness Ameen.
  • nahamee karima  - Single mother striving for jennah, inshallah and t
    I am a strong sister in my deen I have been practicing the faith for 16 years , And keeping myself for seven years and and waiting for Allah bless with that pious husband that love Allah they way he loves himself inshallah because Allah is the best of planners and I would love to continue to talk to you and give you my walil number inshallah my email is nahameesb662@gmail****
  • Abdus Sabur  - I want to be Married for the sake of Allah
    I just trying to reach out and love once again am a single parent real lonely.May Allah grant me some one Ameen
  • Sister in Islaam
    Salam aleikoum, Where are you located brother?
  • tranquility36  - living with genital herpes
    As-Salaamu alaikum! I am interested in getting married as well...any brothers interested? Please notify me
  • Abdus Sabur Mercado  - La ilaaha illAllah
    Sister am at work now InShAllah you could E-mail to know each other first for the sake of Allah. Ameen. I well talk or respond later on to night InShAllah
  • nahamee karima  - salaam ins waiting hear from u
    my email is nahameesb662@gmail**** or nahamee04@yahoo**** I would like to ask u some questions in email me I pray Allah bless this email ameen Sis. Nahamee.
  • Abdus Sabur Mercado  - La ilah ill-Allah wa anna Muhammad-ur-Rasul-Allah
    Salaamu Alaikum sister nahameesb Am sorry I haven't got back to you. But Al-Hamdulillah you reach out to me. I couldn't find your E-Mail and I been really busy helping a brother that just got married with moving and busy with work as well. InshAllah with Allah respect am not a vert good person typing or E-Mailing here is my number 267-266-5510 you could ask me all the Question InshAllah .
  • Tranquil36  - response
    As-Salaamu Alaikum! :0) I'm just getting this, so I pray you're still out there and interested, Insha-Allah!
  • Aliyya  -  searching for companion
    I am a 38 yr old African american looking for marriage. I love Islam.
  • habibah  - as-salaamu alaykum brother abdus sabur
    I am a widowed sister seeking a practicing brother for marriage if yourself or any brothers you know are interested feel free to email me habibahalq@yahoo**** (if you have married already please excuse my manners) until then be well& take care.... masalaams
  • sister in deen  - Mashaallah
    Good on the sister who started the site. We need more muslims to be brave and help our communities. Mashallah she married a man who accepted she had 2 stis. Allah is so merciful. I have herpes type 2 and my husband wants to divorce me as its casued complications being in polygamy. He wont sleep with me becasue hes scared he will infect his other wife. I am also pregnant but have to stay positive. Maybe when my babys born i will seek to find a muslim man with herpes. Is quite common here in london but people dont talk about it. Allah bless u all from his bounty.
  • rasheed abdul hameed  -  blessed healthy HIV+ muslim brother in usa
    Assalaamu alaikum this issue of stds is a very complicated issue especially if their is a pologioumous marriage in effect masha'allah by ALLAHS permission i have be hiv+ for 10 years and on medication my t cells are very hig and im at undetectable level as far as the virus is concerned may Allah make all of our afflictions a mercy for us in this life and the next ameen if there are any sisters who are hiv+ and healthy practicing muslimahs inshallah seeking marrige because my current wife doesnt want any more children we were blessed to have 3 hiv free Alhamdullah masha'allah inthe future no matter where they are from jazakuallahu khairan brother rasheed
  • habibah  - as-salaamu alaykum
    Brother rasheed if you come in contact w/brothers living w/hiv seeking a good pious,sister please forward my email address(I am unable to bare children) mashallah I appreciate that all the best of blesings be upon you & your family ameen from sister habibahalq@yahoo****....masalaams
  • tranquility36  - living with genital herpes
    as-salaamu alaikum! I have been living with this disease for over 10 years, and I thought my sex life would be over, that I'd never be able to marry again....it's a weight off my shoulders to know that there are many muslims out there sharing the same experience as myself! Unfortunately, I caught herpes from a man who's had it since his teenage years, and was never diagnosed, but had the symptoms nonetheless! At any rate, I would like to chat with any brothers/sisters who as a similar situation as mine, and I'm looking to get to know brothers with herpes as well, for I do desire to be married!
  • Abdus Sabur Mercado
    Just e-mail me sister.InshAllah
  • nahamee karima  - I am a divorced sister of four children only one l
    I am lone lily and have been alone for almost 7yrs , I very much to be married again I was in a polygamy marriage , and my ex- husband gave me a STD and I have been feeling so alone dealing with this and very much want to meet someone that understands inshallah, I want my other half to full-feel my deen inshallah may Allah best use all and grant use all the jennah inshallah.
  • nahamee karima  - waiting to be married ,
    For Abdus Sabur, waiting to hear from you sister Nahamee Karima
  • rasheed abdul hameed  - living with hiv+ for over 10 yrs very healthy se
    Assalaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu BismillALLAHI Rahman Iraheem Alhamdullah my name is rasheed i have been a praticing muslim for the last 10yrs masha'ALLAH and i have been blessed and tested every day of my life i am currentyly marriaged and i do have children three hiv- ALLAHU AKBAR LAHAWLA WA LA QUWATA ILLA BILLA my wife has decided that she doesnt want any more children and i want mare inshallah so im seeking to find a practicing sister you prays and practices to the best of her abilty like myself we arent perfect but shoud strive for perfection inshallah may ALLAH GRANT US ALL TAWFEEK AMEEN AND BENEFICIAL ILM AMEEN AND CHILDREN THAT WILL BE A COOLING FOR OUR EYES AMEEN ANY SISTERS THAT ME THIS STATUS CAN HAVE CAN REACH ME AT RASHEED40@MSN.COM OR THEIR WALI WHICH IS SUNNAH AT POSITIVEMUSLIM@GMAIL,COM BARAKALLAU FEEKUM ASSWALAAMU ALAIKUM P,S I LIVE IN THE USA NORTH CAROLINA
  • Widowedmuslima  - widowedmuslima
    As-salaamu alaykum Healthy,Widowed young looking 53 yr-old sister with decent morals and good etiquette seeking practicing brother with understanding for marriage.living with std ovr 14 yrs. if interested contact habibahalq@yahoo**** inshallah
  • Admin  - Comment section will be closed
    Assalamualiakum, The comment section for this article will be closed. Jazakumullahu khayran.
  • Ali Muslim  - Living with herpes
    As salaamu Alaykum... I am 26 years old and have been married once before. I have had this std for 2 years and I am still learning to live with it. I seldom have outbreaks and when I do they are minor Alhumdulillah... I thought I wasn't going to be able to marry again but Allahu Akbar... I am ready Insha Allah... For those who have been married in this situation before please tell me what did it feel like...
  • Anonymous
    I'm am a practiing 44yr muslim woman who was diagnose with HIV for about 11 or 12 years. I also was diagnose with rectal cancer 2yrs ago my Muslim husband claim it was not the cancer which cause our sexual appetite to decline. I ask him if the lovemaking did not come from me , because we have not. been intimate since i had chemo and radiation .in 2yrs. (Where was he getting the love from to my surprise he was cheating . I'm knew in the back of head it was because of the HIV. Im a good pious woman who loves Allah and know that Ihe will send me someone who's love me for the sake of Allah . Im l onely for a mate please email so we can text and get to now each other
  • Hakim Bilal Mujahid  - My other half
    Marriage is half of our religion. May Allah swa bless the originators of this site. In a dangerous time, those of us who's learned our lesson, may Allah swa bless us with happy marriages. Imeen
  • Umulkheir  - Allah Akbar - It is a blessing
    Marriage is important and i thank God for showing me this website that i have been searching, May Allah bless the finders and may he bless all of us. We are in trials but by God's mercy and patients, we will all get what we are looking for. May he our Lord give show us the correct path. Ameen
  • kewther  - never give up, Allah is my hope
    Asalama aleikum brothers and sister, first of All i praise be Allah, the most merciful. Alhamdulilah i must say i am happy i found this page. ....i have a family member who unfortunatley contracted HIV at a young age of 16 when she got married. subhannallah, quite a shock. and now she is 19, she has come a long way of struggle and understanding what she is dealing with. Alhamdulilah the meds are quite effective with her. we do all we can as a family to support and encourage a good healthy life. the reason i am writing this is because i am hoping to find her a partner, i feel bad as the rest of us are married, she feels like she will forever be alone, but i believe she deserves to be happy and that there is someone out there for her. inshallah i hope to hear from someone who is going through a similar circumstance.
  • Widowed  - Waiting & hoping
    Assalam aleikum, i thank Allah for his guidance and for leading me to this web site. Am a widow leaving with HIV for five years now. My husband passed away last year in May. My two kids are grown ups while for me am a full time employee in a clearing and forwarding company (MOMBASA-KENYA). Am now 50 years but the problem is i never thought that i would be interested to have a partner. Its only that am very lonely at times and need someone to talk and share the weakness that am going through at times. Its very challenging to loose someone you loved for a life time only to be alone though it was God's plan. We in this world are passing by. InshAllah will meet by God's will.. Anyway i keep hoping and thanking Allah because all in all am always occupying myself with IBADA. I Thank Allah for everything and i will keep on praising our lord and praying until the end. InshAallah i pray for all the sisters and brothers Searching for partners.
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