Lack of Support for Homeless Muslimahs Shows At Conference

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Conference and banquet on homeless muslim women largely ignored by community.


 

The weekend of October 9th through 11th saw the 25th Weekend Anniversary Conference of Muslimat Al-Nisaa, the single Muslim women’s shelter. It was to be a weekend of exploration and education regarding the issue of domestic violence and abuse in the Muslim community: a look at the progress we are making in awareness and provision of services to this segment of our community, an education regarding how abuse and homelessness effects children, open discussions regarding the interpretation of women’s rights, etc. But, it turned out to be none of those things, because no one attended.

On the first day of the conference there were the speakers, the vendors and the volunteers, but of the general public, there was only one attendee, a young woman who was a new convert to Islam only 4 months earlier. On the second day of the conference, speakers were canceled and notified not to bother traveling to the conference.
The Anniversary Banquet, on the second evening of the conference, which was prepared for 300 attendees, had about 70 people attend. That is including the speakers and performers, the staff, the volunteers and the George Washington University Muslim Students Association representatives that helped organize and accommodate the event. Women were by far the majority of the attendees and contributors. Only $22,500.00 was pledged in total at the banquet. This may sound like a good amount of money, but contrast that with the fact that to run the shelter, at the most basic level, costs about $250,000.00 per year.

oes that seem like too much? Well the shelter offers a safe, clean living environment, doesn’t kick people out during the daylight hours (like many shelters do), provides 3 warm meals a day, offers home economics training, Islamic education, vocational and occupational training, referral to resource information for GED and diploma programs, access to information for further education, laundry facilities, clothing, counseling, a library, health & nutrition counseling, and access to medical services for 15 to 25 women and their children. No woman is accepted to the Muslim women’s shelter without a comprehensive plan to reach self-sufficiency. Each woman is given adequate time and services to reach her goal. In return these women participate in community activities where they are the contributors – a vital step in the rebuilding of the sense of self-worth.

Does it still seem like too much money?
The fact that domestic violence exists in the Muslim community is generally an embarrassment for us. In actuality, the Muslim community has a slightly higher incidence of domestic violence than the general community, but keep in mind this is a statistic that documents only reported occurrences. Consider all those Muslim women suffering in silence thinking that they need only be “patient” and it will pass, or women who stay because they do not want to disappoint their parents or disturb their children’s lives. Often, because it is hidden, many think of it as an issue that mostly plagues the African American Muslim community far more than the immigrant Muslim community. But, it is interesting to note that those that utilize the Muslim women’s shelter are more often immigrant Muslim women. This is a segment of our community that has limited English speaking ability and marketable skills with less understanding of the laws and the resources available in the community.

One of the speakers, Neimah Gaal, Executive Director of Power in Sisters: Sisters Power, talked about her concern with this “disconnect” in the Muslim community regarding the issue of domestic violence and the sometimes view that it is more an African American Muslim issue than a general one.

“This disconnect is not Islamic. It is our responsibility to have a universal connectedness … It is a cultural disconnect. They exclude us because we do not share their culture… Instead of practicing Islam they are practicing their culture (Hislam and Herslam)… Our community is screaming out to you and you are not in the mood? Look in the mirror and ask yourself what have you done…Everyone is being diplomatic and not talking about it…We need to pull on each other’s coat tails and remind each other to be humble and serve. Ask yourself who is your Ilah. If Allah has blessed you with the capacity to help, then you are obligated,” said Gaal.

Despite the lack of participants, three lectures were held on the first day. In attendance were a few of the vendors and volunteers, plus the one registered participant – audiences ranged from 6 to 12 women. Of particular interest was the lecture by Bonita McGee of the Islamic Social Services Association- USA, speaking about “Muslims and the Domestic Violence Movement – An Overview.” Ms McGee was quite enthusiastic and positive. She stated that over the last 15 years there have been dramatic changes in the way Muslim community organizations and imams have come to deal with the issue of domestic violence. Although she admits that the trickle down effect to the community may not be as effective as one would like, the awareness, willingness to talk about the issue, the knowledge of imams dealing with this issue have all grown tremendously from the denial and suppression our community used to have.

Ms. McGee attributes Jamal Badawi’s book, “Gender Equity in Islam” as a turning point in this movement. “His book started a whole new dialogue at a time when no one was talking about this concept... The Muslim media [take this article for example] is more sophisticated and vocal on this issue of domestic abuse, ISNA holds regular lectures on this issue at its annual conferences...we now have Muslim social services organizations as well as non-Muslim social services organizations working cooperatively and more openly with mosque organizations... we have imams that speak out on this issue and actively seek out training and better understanding of domestic violence,” explained McGee.

It would seem that not too long ago, a dialogue on this issue did not really exist and options for women victims of domestic violence were very few.

Ameedah Rashid, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, spoke about the acting out behaviors of young children who experience domestic violence. Ms. Rashid stressed the importance of a peaceful environment for children. A fact that helps to more clearly understand this point is that moving can be more traumatic for a young child than the death of a family member. She also noted that, unlike non-Muslim families, Muslims are aware of the obligations and rights involved in the relationship between parents and children. Muslims understand that there is a give and take in this relationship. “Our parenting goals are clear: to raise our children knowing that life’s goal is about pleasing Allah… and to nurture that relationship.”

Mildred Mohammed, the wife of the executed “DC Sniper”, was the keynote speaker at the Banquet. She told a compelling story of intimidation and the fear under which she lived. Ms. Mohammad talked about going to her brother after her husband first threatened her. When he doubted her, she decided she would never go to him again for help. She brought to mind the point that battered and threatened women are often interrogated rather than defended: “Well, what did you do to make him do that?” or “Why do you stay?” Ms. Mohammad went on to say that, “… so much of domestic violence is often not physical. There are no scars on the outside. Only about 20% of domestic violence and abuse is of the kind you can see… It is interesting to note that people will come running across the world to support a variety of physical ailments and diseases, but how many will come running for the cause of domestic violence?”

Domestic violence is unique in that its victims are often further victimized by society and the very organizations that profess to help them. Do we not consider child abusers, and abusers of the elderly or disabled, monsters? But it is not so with domestic abuse. These victims are often given inadequate help at social services. Many shelters only provide shelter for 30 to 90 days, often turning women out onto the streets, (hopefully to end up at the doorstep of Muslimat Al-Nisaa). No meals are supplied. Some require the woman and her children not to be on the premises during the day. There are often alcoholics, drug abusers and men at shelters. Shelters can be as unsafe as the streets.

One should not forget the issue of faith. A Muslim woman may have issues with preparing food or eating food at a shelter, especially if she keeps halal. Often she is made to feel that her faith is what has kept her locked up as a victim and that her path to self-sufficiency is through leaving her faith behind. What effect does all this have on her children? Secular shelters can be as detrimental as faith based shelters that are ignorant of Islam and its true tenets.

As a community we should be incredibly proud of having a Muslim women’s shelter. Muslimat Al-Nisaa is so well known that even the American Consulate in Spain contacted Sister Asma in hopes of finding refuge for a Muslim woman in need. There are a number of communities that have Muslim social service organizations, but ours is the only one with a Muslim women’s shelter. It behooves us to support it financially and spiritually. Clearly, as a community, so far, we have failed in the later, as is evident by the lack of interest in its conference last weekend. Let us not fail in the former.

You may give your support through www.mnisaa.org.

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