How About a Day for Singles?

Written by Sarah Salam, Muslim Link Columnist

Friday, 12 February 2010 15:35

Each year February Valentine’s Day is celebrated the world over; from the stone-paved streets of Paris to the dust-laden alleys of Delhi, couples remind themselves of why they even put up with their partners at all. Although some may argue that the celebration of Valentine’s Day is not permissible in Islam, the fact of the matter remains that many Muslim households do celebrate the season. Often times this may be done with the husband buying cake, flowers, a special gift (perfume perhaps?), or all three for his wife. Hallmark Cards, too, I am sure, benefit from Muslim clientele during their second busiest season after Christmas.

But I often wonder, despite living in a “salad bowl” of races in the United States and other immigrant-filled countries, why the Muslim community does not have more interracial marriages. Aside from Christianity, Islam is one of the few religions where followers have permeated into all races, ethnicities, and cultures. It’s not that I feel that one Muslim race is racist against the other (although, I must admit, I do feel like that is a factor), but the lack of interracial marriages is more due to people not willing to step out of their comfort zone when choosing a life partner. Heck, it’s even hard for some to branch out when it comes to cuisines.

Each one of us is deeply rooted to a specific culture, with its own nuances and quirks. As a result, many of us believe that for our spouse to understand our ways and habits, he or she needs to be of the same culture. For others, it is a matter of parental agreement – more often than not parents disapprove of their child’s marriage outside of their own race. Interracial marriages would be a powerful way to break down these prejudices and stereotypes though.

When interracial marriages do occur, I find that they are often between a convert and a born-and-bred Muslim. I think this is great, but I would be curious to know how many Somali-Muslims have married Pakistani-Muslims. Why are there not more Indonesian-Arab weddings? Perhaps I am just ignorant of such marriages, and perhaps the trend is changing with the new generation growing up in America. After all, unlike our parents before us, we have a common culture, the American culture, which we place before that of our parents’.

Ah, but how I digress. My thoughts on Valentines Day morphed to thoughts on interracial marriages, and in the midst, I forgot about the most neglected people during this season: the singles. Why is there not a day to celebrate singlehood? There should be an occasion for those of us who wish to keep our lives (at least a little!) halal and opt not to date. Hmm, perhaps there is such a “singles day,” the day after Valentine’s Day, when chocolate and other candy is 50% off.